Living into my identity

The following is an excerpt from New Seeds of Contemplation by Thomas Merton. These words were first shared with me by my good friend, Brandi, while I was in my first month of living in Uganda. They brought peace to me as I struggled through trying to be what I thought others around me desired me to be. Since that time they have continued to bring me peace as I seek to live fully into who I am, to be content and confident in me and not in hiding behind the 'other' that so often is tempting to compare myself to or seek to be known as.

A tree gives glory to God by being a tree. For in being what God means it to be it is obeying Him. It "consents," so to speak, to His creative love. It is expressing an idea which is in God and which is not distinct from the essence of God, and therefore a tree imitates God by being a tree.
The more a tree is like itself, the more it is like Him. If it tried to be like something else which it was never intended to be, it would be less like God and therefore it would give Him less glory.
No two created beings are exactly alike. And their individuality is no imperfection. On the contrary, the perfection of each created thing is not merely in its conformity to an abstract type but in its own individual identity with itself. This particular tree will give glory to God by spreading out its roots in the earth and raising its branches into the air and the light in a way that no other tree before or after it ever did or will do...
Therefore each particular being, in its individuality, its concrete nature and entity, with all its own characteristics and its private qualities and its own inviolable identity, gives glory to God by being precisely what He wants it to be here and now, in the circumstances ordained for it by His Love and His infinite Art.

I'm thinking about it again now as I seek to re-discover and establish myself, my identity, my role, my place in my home, in Denver. I've noticed that my default position seems to be seeking to be whatever it might be that the people around me will love and be drawn to. Usually this means I'm trying to be something I'm not, or at least leaving out parts of myself that are integral to my identity. Creating a false self that is likable, or so I seem to believe.
This journey back to my previous life, after about 18 months away, has proven to be more challenging than I anticipated. The past four weeks have been a struggle. Yet I'm beginning to come out of a fog, the shock is wearing off & I feel as if I can see more clearly. I can see that I've begun to adapt to my surroundings, putting on the masks of perhaps who I used to be or even who it might be easier to deal with right now instead of letting me be me. Insecurities run deep and begin to surface - which is good to confront, but frustrating to realize I'm living under them rather than overcoming them.
Just some thoughts of where I'm at right now - hopefully on the upswing and at least today seeking to live fully into who I have been created to be - no more, no less.