Reflections

So for those who don't know, I stepped down from my position leading the Boaz Trust in September. For some time, there was a nagging sense that I was not quite in the right place, despite being in a position of responsibility and influence. I stepped down in the knowledge that there was a strong chance I may return to my previous place of work, Siemens with a short term contract. Last week, it became clear that was not going to happen. So, in short this has become an extended absence of leave from full time work. Whilst im still looking for another short term work opportunity so that we can pay the bills, i do not have a peace about accepting another full time job at this point. We've been asked to wait by God, explore a few opportunities that may lead to longer term appointments in ministry, and take a temporary job to pay the bills in the meantime! 

A period of waiting gives you an opportunity to reflect on what has gone before. Back in 2009, I left my job with Siemens to explore a sense of calling to the poor and went to work in the DR Congo with Medair. Change and transition has been a prevalent theme since I made that decision. Me and Jennie got married, we came back to the UK, started new jobs, moved to a church plant, I got a degree in theology, Jennie gave birth to baby Kora and here we are. It feels like we are in the final stages of this particular period of transition. 

The experiences we have had over the past few years have clarified important things about ourselves, foundations in marriage, identity, clarified our sense of calling. Its interesting to look back. Through experiences with Medair, we commenced our journeys of faith but equally became disillusioned with the solutions that the aid sector had to offer the marginalised and poor. Yes people were helped through the practical delivery of large scale emergency relief projects, but ultimately we became dissatisfied with a form of mission that generates a dependancy culture, disempowering people and communities, a blight on the ability of individuals to think through solutions to the problems existing in their own countries. At the end of the day, its far easier to accept a handout than to work through issues in relationships, governance and corruption. We wanted more! 

In the UK, we have been working for grassroots charities. Led by Christians, supported by local churches and involving lots more face to time with the 'poor', suddenly the people we were serving had a name, a personality and a story that made everything much more personal. Hard to just go back to normal life at the end of each day, when your lives become so intertwined with those you are supporting through your work, the poor are no longer kept at arms length, they are in your face and its uncomfortable. The practical support provided by these charities provided was vital, life saving at times, like the Boaz Trust providing accomodation and basic needs support for refused asylum seekers. 

That sense of nagging pervaded though. There was still a dependency culture that broke through, a desire to see this cycle broken, to see the poor come to realise how Jesus sees them, discipleship, the good news, a calling to mission. A combination of practical expertise plus spiritual input seems a positive way forward. Still not completely sure what this looks this looks, but in reflecting, im reminded that we are on a journey and God is revealing new things all the time